All spreadsLove and relationships

How We See Each Other

Six cards in two columns, your gaze and your partner's. The spread measures the gap between who you believe you are and who the other person actually sees.

Fits when resentment appears from nowhere and you need a quick check of how you see each other.

Cards
6
Minutes
12
Reversals
On
AI reading
2 credits
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How to read it

Read across, not down. Cards one and five are the key pair: who you are in your own eyes against who you are in your partner's. The wider that gap, the more resentment appears out of nowhere. Cards two and four form the second pair: your picture of your partner against their picture of themselves. Cards three and six hold the wish, how each of you wants to be seen, and that is usually where the performance hides. A matching pair means you see the same thing; a mismatch names the conversation to have today.

Positions

  1. How you see yourself

    Your own image inside this relationship: the role you have assigned yourself.

  2. How you see your partner

    Who you genuinely believe your partner to be, including what you never admit aloud.

  3. How you want to appear

    The image you work to hold up in front of your partner, and the effort it costs.

  4. How they see themselves

    How your partner rates their own role in the couple and their share of responsibility.

  5. How they see you

    How you look to them on an ordinary day, neither in a quarrel nor on a holiday.

  6. How they want to appear

    The impression your partner tries to make on you, and what it is covering up.

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