All spreadsSecrets and the unconscious

Why Won't He Meet Me?

Nine cards on one precise question: what he feels, what he tells himself, what he fears, what holds him, and on what condition the meeting still happens.

Take it for one person and one question about meeting, not for exploring yourself in general.

Cards
9
Minutes
11
Reversals
On
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How to read it

The top row is him from inside: the feeling, the inner explanation and the fear. Feeling and explanation often diverge, and that divergence is what explains his silence. The two middle cards are what holds him and how he sees you; the real reason usually lives here, and it is rarely about you. The bottom row is about you both: what he is waiting for, what hinders from your side and what would change things. The last card answers directly: whether the meeting happens and on what condition. If the condition requires a step from you, the spread names which.

Positions

  1. What he feels

    His actual feeling for you, apart from the way he behaves.

  2. What he tells himself

    How he explains his silence and delays to himself so as not to feel guilty.

  3. What he fears

    What he fears in a meeting: disappointment, commitment, exposure or his own feeling.

  4. What holds him

    The real circumstance of his life: another woman, family, work, money, distance.

  5. How he sees you

    The place you hold in his picture of things and what he is counting on.

  6. What he expects from you

    The step or word he waits for and why he does not ask for it outright.

  7. What hinders on your side

    Your part in this pause: waiting, pressure, fear or willingness to endure.

  8. What would change it

    The event or act after which the whole thing moves off this dead point.

  9. Will you meet

    The direct answer: whether the meeting happens, when, and on what condition.

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